Big Box Blues

I recently went to one of the “Big Box”  Home Improvement stores to get an adaptor for a drill bit that I had previously purchased. I had bought the bit because it could be used in concrete. But when I got it home, I realized that it would not fit into a standard drill, which is the only drill I had. It had been designed to fit in what is called a "hammer drill". I figured that perhaps solving the problem might be as simple as buying a cheap adaptor that would allow it to work in my drill...or so I thought.

Anyway, when I got to the store, I walked around to the drill bit area to look for a sales advisor. I thought I saw one, but when I went to his spot, he had conveniently disappeared. Finding help in those places is like playing a game of "hide-and-seek".  And when you do corner one, it is as if you had just spotted a rare bird.. .."Oh, look, there is a black & red-vested bi-pedal store helper."

I did eventually find some help.  I told the guy that I was looking for an adapter that would take a hammer drill bit (which I took out of my pocket and showed him) and allow it to be used in a standard drill. He scratched his head ….literally, he actually took off his cap and scratched his head. He then said, "I don't think they make that kind of adapter." He wasn't sure, but at least he was sure that they did not carry them in his store.

Getting frustrated (because I was sure I had seen some online the night before), I said, "Ok, well maybe I should just buy a hammer drill and be done with it. Show me your hammer drills."

 He replied, "Oh, but those are really expensive...they start at about $200 and go up from there." 

  I said, "Well that's funny because I saw some advertised in your store online for $79.00."

 "No, that's not possible," he says, "We have never had any that cheap."

 "Well,” I said, “let's go take a look."

So we meandered over to the hammer drills. I say we "meandered" because he really did not know where they were.  And, sure enough, there was one on the shelf for $79...the same one I had seen online! -- which, I immediately pointed out to him. He was obviously befuddled and embarrassed.

(Trying to cover his mistake) he said, “Well, I meant we never carried them in the store…just online.”

So, I said, “And yet, there it is!”

Hoping to regain some semblance of self-respect, he said “That is just a floor model. I don’t think we actually have any in the store.”

I replied, “Well, take down the model number and look on the shelves to make sure.”

So, he wandered off, looking disgruntled and annoyed.  He soon returned with an unopened box with a new drill inside.  “I guess we did have one in the back”, he said, somewhat sheepishly. He then took off his cap again, scratched his head and started muttering something unintelligible to himself. I decided just to leave him in this state without saying anything at all.

I proceeded to the check-out section where, of course, there was a very long line. People ahead of me seemed to be taking an extraordinary amount of time---changing their minds, not knowing which card to pay with, questioning the price, etc.---which now caused me to start muttering to myself and scratching my head, as I wondered why this only seemed to happen to me?  When it was finally my turn, I triumphantly placed my merchandise on the counter to be processed. I say triumphantly because I felt like I had been in a long, hard battle…but ultimately had won.  That is, until I heard the cashier say, ”With tax that will be $105.00 please.”

I said, “WHAT!” as I realized another skirmish was developing. “The price was supposed to be $79,” I said, somewhat incredulously and in a high-pitched voice I didn’t even recognize.

“No sir,” she replied. “It is $99.00 plus tax, for a total of $105.00.”

As I began arguing about the price, I realized I now was becoming one of those people that were holding everyone else up. (There was a lot of muttering and head-scratching going on in the line behind me.) So I finally said, ”Look, just call over my salesman and I will meet him back at the original spot.”  At that, I picked up the box and went to the designated area to discuss what had just happened.

My salesman was nowhere to be found. As I was looking down Aisle 9 to see if perhaps he had hung himself from the rafters, a different salesman showed up. I took a deep breath and told the new guy briefly what had occurred. He looked at the box I was holding and said, “This is not a hammer drill, this is an Impact driver. He brought you the wrong box.”

As my blood pressure was climbing I considered the situation, and decided that I really did not want to fight that battle again…go through finding the correct box and standing in line all over again. I just wanted to get the hell out of there!  So I gathered myself and calmly said to Salesman #2, “Listen, all I really came in here for was an adapter which Salesman #1 said does not exist. Let me try this a different way. Do you have a really good concrete bit that will work with a standard drill?”  (I had already tried some cheap bits before, but they always broke or were ineffective.)

“Certainly, Sir,” he said with confidence. “Follow me and I will get one for you.”  So I went with him a short distance to another section where he proudly held up a concrete drill bit. It was the exact same bit I had in my pocket that I had brought from home and wanted an adapter for!

Shaking my head in disbelief, I slowly (and a little too loudly) said, “That bit will not work in a standard drill!

“Of course not,” he replied. “What you need is Hammer Drill.”

At that point I had a decision to make: Should I stab him in the eye with the drill bit in my pocket or should I just join the other salesman and hang myself in Aisle 9?